Shhh, I'm talking to the Doctor

Thank you for all your prayers! Thank you for all the food and play dates!! And thank you for encouraging us with cards, tokens of affection, thoughtful gifts and emails! Thank you, family, for taking days off work to come watch our children while we hit the HWY for appointments. The collaborative effort of all of us has given me such strength and peace. "Strength in numbers" was chalked onto my driveway when I drove home for the first time after the trauma. It has held true!

Yesterday was a long day in Fort Worth. We saw Dr. Cheng (neurologist) at 10:00 am. She came in and said, "Wow, Ross you look so good! You are all better!"

It was hard to see Ross' face when he had to say no. He wants to believe he is all better. I want to believe he is all better!! But, he isn't. Those of us who know Ross can tell he doesn't look all better, but all Dr Cheng has to compare to is what she saw in the hospital. (He looked pretty bad there with excruciating headaches!)
The night before our appointments, he was unable to follow conversation and was very confused by simple questions. It scared me a little bit, so of course I made him sit up in bed and try harder to have a conversation with me. It was strange. He did not comprehend half of our conversation. He would answer off subject. It was like talking to a drunk man. :) He is not like this all of the time. Mainly when he is tired. He has had a low grade fever twice in one week. We don't like that either.

Dr. Cheng lowered his anti-seizure drug hoping to help with the sleepiness/drunkenness. She also added a drug to help with the headaches he is still having everyday. The drug is designed to lower swelling or inner-cranial pressure in the brain. It is given to head trauma patients and to those with migraines. It's a diverse drug and she hopes it will help with the eyes as well.

The second prescription from Dr. Cheng is to exercise! To get his body and brain moving! Funny, huh? She said even if his brain is swollen, exercise will not hurt that. The dizziness makes this challenging, but Ross is up for the task! So, if you see him running down the street, watch out if he's in the middle of the road! ha! He's got to work up to running... he walked about 8 laps around the house today, bathed the kids, and served himself often. He's conflicted inside because he doesn't feel well, yet he wants to do his best to follow Dr. Cheng's request. I'm considering getting him a gym membership so he can get on an elliptical machine and lift some weights. Ross doesn't want to go because of all the germs and his risk of picking them up. WE will see. We hope that in a month at his re-evaluation, he will be doing much better and Dr. Cheng will run an EEG to find a normal brain wave pattern!

Now, let me introduce Dr. Jones the neuro ophthalmologist. He is from UT Southwestern and has an office in Fort Worth he visits Tuesdays and Thursdays. He is very thorough! (4 hour appointment, mostly waiting) He found Ross' eyes to be swollen. :( The optic nerve is swollen which made him conclude Ross' brain is probably swollen. He wanted to do another spinal tap to find out the exact pressure, but at 5:30 could not get clearance from Dr. Cheng who had just left for vacation. He felt the new medicine Dr. Cheng prescribed would be a perfect fit for the swelling in the eyes as well. So, he sent us home with more questions and more "self-research" about swollen optic nerves. I don't like what I've read so far... he has typical symptoms from the infection. I pray we have caught it in time to preserve Ross' eye sight. I'm wondering why we didn't see a neuro ophthalmologist sooner?
We go back next Thursday to measure the swelling.

Please pray for Ross' eyes and brain. Pray for us to feel like we are improving or for us to have clear signs that we aren't. Pray for us to have PEACE as we push Ross' body to exercise and as we wait and watch for his body to respond. In all of this, there are so many questions and unanswered theories as to what virus Ross had. If a spinal tap would give more info to the doctors about this as well, we are all for doing another as long as it is safe for his brain.

Here's a scripture my sister in law prayed over us Thursday and it's just perfect! Please join her in praying this scripture for us...

Romans 15:13 in the Message says: "Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with JOY, fill you up with PEACE, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with HOPE!"

So, you're probably wondering how we are feeling emotionally. We are both a little frustrated. This is to be expected with any prolonged recovery. Letting go and healing and becoming who we really are is not easy (Rachel Naomi Remen). We are not frustrated with our doctors. We have been cared for extremely well. We are both so tired that we forget to ask certain questions even when I have them written down. ha! (or grrr) I think of new questions to ask after we get home. (grr, grr)
Honestly, Ross has a hard time answering questions about how he feels. He has a difficult time assessing. He has never been sick and when you are sick for a long time, pain or discomfort starts to feel "normal". We journal at the end of the day short notes about how he felt that day. I know Ross is not back to himself because it takes a long time to get his mind to process and understand simple questions. His classic response these days, "I don't know." And you all know me, I won't settle for an I don't know. So, I put on my nurse hat and start probing. :)

We make a great team! The kids are doing well! They are great therapy for us!! Liam is such a ham, and Myra's sweetness melts us! Liam is wanting to play with and be held by Daddy more and more each day. Ross is a great Father!! He is a wonderful husband and friend! We are BELIEVING in HEALING and focusing on positive thoughts!! God's truths and God's peace really do reign most hours. We look forward to the day when we post, "All better!!" Until then, keep us close to your heart.

* Myra calls the doctor through out the day on her "cell phone" and is sooo serious about her conversation regarding her baby doll. She's even asked me to be quiet because she was talking to the doctor. She leaves and takes her baby to the hospital and comes back. Myra always tells me, "See, I told you I was coming back." I love how kids cope. :)